summer 2010

As a perpetual student, writing not for classes and for pleasure is something I do very rarely of these days. Yet I read the lovely posts from my friends about their babies and adventures of travels and I think to myself, hey I can do that. I can totally let my friends know what's up with me, yet sitting down and writing a blog? Well, that only happens when I suppose to be writing for something else (like today, suppose to be working on that conference paper and my morning is already gone). The bottom line is this: I love the idea of a blog. And perhaps someday I will be better at writing in one.

a peaceful snowy day

I sit at home today, my reading day, and watch the snow drift quietly outside my window.  It's quite picturesque and lovely (particularly because I don't have to leave the house).  Quite a contrast to my last week of frantic phone calls and checking up on the family.  I think Mom gets to go home today, which is a huge sigh of relief for us all.  It's been hard sitting over here and not being part of the action back home.

But that's what happens right? You grow up and you have your life.  I think it feels off because I don't have my own family yet and so my family remains my only tie.  Which makes me feel more responsible to their well being and what not.  My parents however have been making conscious efforts to move me on to an independent unit. 

So the snow drifts, I think of a nice warm cup of cocoa, and wish my parents the best. I'll be home soon. 

2010 update

Hmm... looking at the title, does that mean that I only need to write one entry for this year? 

I hope not. I've gotten out of routine of updating this blog post things but am trying to get back into the swing of things. Visiting family and friends in the city this week before heading back to school land next week.  It's nice to be around family. It's alarming sometimes how quickly kiddies grow up. I was talking with my niece and telling her about when she was 2. And as she puts it, that was a long time ago. (She's four now, but I guess from her perspective that was half a life time ago).

So, I love giving gifts. Gifts that meet the person's desire precisely or fulfills a need. Usually, I don't expect it to be reciprocate.  And this year I was kind of blown out of the water with an awesome gift. It's delicious to be surprised. So surprised that all you can say is, thank you. thank you. thank you. I hope I will continued to be filled with thanksgiving even after the gift is old and has lost its luster. It's a good habit to practice gratitude. 

Being around my nephew reminds me to rejoice over the simple things. He constantly has a smile on. And we celebrate all things-- from a song being sung, to dinner being served, to having a poo. (And yes, usually in that order... sorry, couldn't resist).  His gleeful laughter fills the house and makes us all laugh too.  Maybe he's onto something. Oh here he comes, better go play and giggle with him. Happy 2010. 

Why do I do this?

Every Monday I want to quit. Well, almost every Monday. I ask, why do I do this? By Wednesday I usually recover and can make it through the week. But I am struggling today. It's Wednesday and I wonder how the work I am doing is meaningful. It's part of the process I hear, to question yourself and tumble around in uncertainty. At some point though there is some revelation and then you bust your butt some more to get out of here.

My first semester winds to a close. I like it I think. I like learning. I've known that now for a few years, but where to next? I read the lovely entries on my friends' blogs and they seem to be in a very different place in life... babies, husbands, jobs. I'm surrounded by people in a similar situation here... amazing how four years can make a difference.

I look forward to the snow and the slower pace of life during break. I am excited to be with friends and my family. I'm really looking forward to snowboarding and hot chocolate.

Hmm, with these happy thoughts, may you be filled with hope during this advent season. As I too will try to be.

coming home

Since I don't have classes on Thursdays and Fridays, I was able to leave for Thanksgiving break yesterday morning.  Having no car means that it is a whole day ordeal, but I am thankful to be home. I was trying to figure out what is so good about being home, and I've come to this conclusion-- there is a different set of responsibilities here (or lack of).  I get to wander around and look in the cupboards for new snack to magically appear, sleep in without feeling too badly, and shut the door and do my work as I please.  But when I get sick of all that, I can go find my mom or dad and shoot the breeze with them (they love taking breaks from whatever they're doing to hang out with me-- I'm a limited time deal). 

Being the youngest kid also means that they haven't given away my storage space.  They did take over my room to make it the computer room and guest room.  But they do a good job and try to move all their stuff before I come home and reclaim the space as mine.  I basically have enough stuff to sustain two lives-- one at school and here.  I have plenty of books, clothes, journals, and music in both places. My computer and a few notebooks thrown into the backpack keep me busy at both locations.  It's an interesting time of my life, an adult student, who still feels like a kid and acts like one too (sometimes).

Thanksgiving. I hope you have a good break from what you're doing and get to hang out with cool people in your life. Peace be with you.

a new day?

I use to love being on xanga and putting my thoughts down. It was a great procrastination tool (guess what I'm doing now?) but slowly my community on xanga left for bigger and better things and the medium kept changing to a point where I not longer knew how to change the font and the font size. It was a sad day. I stopped posting things and I lament that.

Reading the lovely posts of my friends in my gReader makes me miss them and wish I had a way to respond in full posts and not just little comments. And so here I am, starting a new blog, inspired by some good conversations last night. Little bits of redemption through technology?